I found this collection of cynical quotes in a file when I was looking for something else. I can’t remember if I found what I was looking for but was intrigued with this gem. My father put these together many years ago and periodically added to them. As far as I know they aren’t attributable to anyone. I think he collected them over the years as he heard them and they tickled his fancy or perhaps his cynicism.

My father kept a quote on the wall of his office about engineers. It was along the lines of a good engineer can make something complicated a great engineer makes it simple. These quotes stayed in his private “Brian Files”.

O’REILLY’S LAW OF THE KITCHEN

                Cleanliness is next to impossible

LIEBERMAN’S LAW

                Everyone lies; but it doesn’t matter, since nobody listens.

DENNISTON’S LAW

                Virtue is its own punishment

GOLD’S LAW

                If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

HANDY GUIDE TO MODERN SCIENCE

                If it’s green or it wriggles, it’s Biology

                If it stinks, it’s Chemistry

                If it doesn’t work, it’s Physics

CONWAY’S LAW

                In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired!!!

Cynical Quote Finster's Law

FINSTER’S LAW

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

OLIVER’S LAW OF LOCATION

                No matter where you go, there you are.

LYNCH’S LAW

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

GLYME’S FORMULA FOR SUCCESS

                The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

HARRISON’S POSTULATE

                For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

HANLON’S RAZOR

                Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

FIRST RULE OF HISTORY

                History does not repeat itself – historians merely repeat each other.

GREEN’S LAW OF DEBATE

                Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

Cynical Quote Stewart's Law

STEWART’S LAW OF RETROACTION

                It’s easier to get forgiveness than permission.

BRADEN’S SAW

                Red sky or not and one for the pot, except for February which has 28.

DOUSE’S PRESUMPTION

                After all, Christmas will come sooner or later.

KENT’S CANARD

                Like it or not, you only get what you receive.

DIAPERBAG EXPLOSION

                The day you fail to pack it, is the day you will need it.

Thank you for sharing this trip into the Brian Files for some Cynical Quotes for Living

There will be more to come. Enjoy recipes from the Brian Files: 3 Bean 2 Potato Soup and Cheesy Fried Breadlets

Cynical Quotes for Living. www.moderngillie.com
A collection of quotes from the Brian Files.

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