I found this collection of cynical quotes in a file when I was looking for something else. I can’t remember if I found what I was looking for but was intrigued with this gem. My father put these together many years ago and periodically added to them. As far as I know they aren’t attributable to anyone. I think he collected them over the years as he heard them and they tickled his fancy or perhaps his cynicism.
My father kept a quote on the wall of his office about engineers. It was along the lines of a good engineer can make something complicated a great engineer makes it simple. These quotes stayed in his private “Brian Files”.
O’REILLY’S LAW OF THE KITCHEN
Cleanliness is next to impossible
LIEBERMAN’S LAW
Everyone lies; but it doesn’t matter, since nobody listens.
DENNISTON’S LAW
Virtue is its own punishment
GOLD’S LAW
If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.
HANDY GUIDE TO MODERN SCIENCE
If it’s green or it wriggles, it’s Biology
If it stinks, it’s Chemistry
If it doesn’t work, it’s Physics
CONWAY’S LAW
In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired!!!
FINSTER’S LAW
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
OLIVER’S LAW OF LOCATION
No matter where you go, there you are.
LYNCH’S LAW
When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.
GLYME’S FORMULA FOR SUCCESS
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
HARRISON’S POSTULATE
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
HANLON’S RAZOR
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
FIRST RULE OF HISTORY
History does not repeat itself – historians merely repeat each other.
GREEN’S LAW OF DEBATE
Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
STEWART’S LAW OF RETROACTION
It’s easier to get forgiveness than permission.
BRADEN’S SAW
Red sky or not and one for the pot, except for February which has 28.
DOUSE’S PRESUMPTION
After all, Christmas will come sooner or later.
KENT’S CANARD
Like it or not, you only get what you receive.
DIAPERBAG EXPLOSION
The day you fail to pack it, is the day you will need it.
Thank you for sharing this trip into the Brian Files for some Cynical Quotes for Living
There will be more to come. Enjoy recipes from the Brian Files: 3 Bean 2 Potato Soup and Cheesy Fried Breadlets
